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My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why

I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds out my window

And I can't see at all

Even if I could it would all be gray

But your picture on my wall

It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad...

Sheesh...I'm singing like some drunk widow..hag. I'm depressed. Again. I think I've eaten too much pancake this morning w/c I made myself and, I don't know why, but eating something you made your own tastes bland and feels like you just wanna puke.

O_______________o;;

I never wanted to puke, nor put on some weight.

**gloom, gloom**

But maybe it's not really the pancake, or rainclouds, or puke, or fats that bother me. Shit! Today's 20. July 20. Three days after my b-day. Wee...anniv nanaman namin!!!! ^__^

Pero wala siya. Wala na. How hopeless. Bakit ba kasi pinahihirapan ko sarili ko? Bakit pa kasi siya pa?! Bakit AAARRGGGGGGHHHH!!!! Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit. Fuck shit.

Here. Sugar Hiccup's "Five Years." Basta. Wala lang.

For starters, this is the lyrics:

Mmmmmm....((long continuous hum)) But He will not be back......((shrill))

Lovely song.

I'm sitting here at home, eating the 5th pandesal, and not at all mindful that I haven't written our paper in SocSci2 due tomorrow; I'm sitting here at home, eating the 5th pandesal, and not at all mindful that my finger is almost swollen from clicking the remote (bwisit walang magandang palabas!) while contemplating about the previous show from Discovery Ch.

Spontaneous Human Combustion. "The ability of the human body to blister or smoke or otherwise ignite in the absence of an external identifiable known source of ignition. In classic spontaneous human combustion the body burns itself more completely than can normally be achieved at a crematorium. The fires are considered internal in origin."

Lovely.

I wish people would simply die like that. No need for coffins (tipid sa kahoy), no need for cemeteries (tipid sa lupa), no need for crematoriums (tipid sa langis) and basically no need to spend thousands of bucks just to have a decent burial. Tipid.

Assuming that your WHOLE body is burned. But if something like that happens (see image above), you still have to pay for your leg to be burned/buried/chopped/minced (depending on your preference). Or ask your mom to walk it back home .

**finishes pandesal**